ALT.SF4M

  Microwave Daze

   • g*****o@k****.****t.net
     21/03/1996 00:00:000 UTC

     Hello Rev. Stang,

     I think I told you this story a few years ago when it

     happened, but let me tell it again. I was working late one night on some

     graduate school project when I had the urge for some Popcorn. I got up,

     went to the kitchen and opened up a box of Microwave popcorn. Everything

     seemed normal as I opened the box, place the bag in the microwave oven

     and closed the door.

     I was feeling pretty funky at the time, it must have

     been around 4am. I typed in 4 minutes and sat back and watched the corn

     pop. That was when things really started to get strange. The light
     inside

     of the microwave seemed to be getting brighter. I got a little closer to

     the door and squinted through the dot pattern shielding on the door.

     I jumped back startled in what I just saw. I saw "BoB"'s

     head floating inside with that freaking grin on his face and his pipe

     glowing real bright. He winked at me and said that the popcorn will be

     ready in a few minutes.

     As the bag increased in size, it appeared that the bag

     and "BoB" were taking up the same space. I could only guess that the
     Luck

     Plane opened up inside the Microwave and that is how they both can exist

     in the same space at the same moment.

     When the last kernal was popped by his Pipe, his grin

     seemed to grow bigger and he faded from view. Let me tell you this, it

     was the best popcorn I had in years! Every kernal was popped and none of

     them were burnt.

     So whenever I see a picture of "BoB" that looks like a

     dot pattern, it always reminds me of that event with the microwave. You

     see, when I looked inside the microwave, I had to look through the dot

     shielding. So the next time you nuke something in a microwave, yuo have

     to look quick. If you squint your eyes just right, you'll see "BoB"'s

     head appear in the dot shielding on the door.

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     [ Side Note ] What happens in microwaves in 7-11s? They don't have a

     glass door to look through with the dot shielding. Does the conspiracy

     use some kind of shambling Nazi hell creature to cook the food inside?!?

     ------------------------------------------------------------------------

     Did "BoB" Inflitrate the Conspiracy's Fast Food Chains?

     =======================================================

     Over the past 10 years, I've noticed the increase of

     Microwave ovens in the fast food industry. I think the first chain that

     started using them was Burger King. Whenever I saw their ads about how

     the Whopper beat the Big Mac, I always added that "microwaving beat

     frying" as a side joke to their ads.

     Now in the present, every fast food chain uses Microwave

     ovens. Did "BoB" pull the wool over our eyes again? I look back at that

     encounter with "BoB" that one night with the popcorn. What the hell is

     "BoB" doing? Did he create the Microwave oven and sold it to the Pinks?
     I

     betcha those ovens don't do a thing without "BoB"s presence and his
     pipe.

     Maybe the radiation from the Frop in his pipe is changing the food
     inside

     the oven. Possibly burning away all the Mind Control Chemicals that

     the Smog Monster has put in all our food.

     If that is the case, "BoB" is indeed a Master Salesman.

     Nearly every house in America now has "BoB"s healing machine. Whenever

     Americans place their frozen dinners laced with Mind Control Chemicals

     that we buy from the stores, the Microwave burns away the Conspiracy's

     poisons. So not only is "BoB" slowing down the Conspiracy's plans, he is

     making a TON of money by selling us the cure, the Microwave Oven.
     Yowzer!!!

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