ALT.SF4M

  Flame Form Letter

   • a****4@f******.********n.ca
     06/06/1996 00:00:000 UTC

     People might find this following form letter useful here...I've

     slightly modified it for use here...

     ttyl

     Farrell

     --------------------------------------------cut here...

     Dear:

     [ ] Mundane [ ] Lamer [ ] AOLer

     [ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek

     [ ] Spammer [ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis

     [ ] Fed [ ] Freak [ ] Scientologist

     [ ] Scammer [ ] Troller [ ] Pre-teen

     [ ] Cryogenic [ ] Clueless Newbie

     [ ] CompuSpender

     You Are Being Flamed Because:

     [ ] You can't tell the difference between Science Fiction and Single
     Females

     [ ] You posted warez in pieces LESS than 5000 lines

     [ ] You posted something asking for warez sites

     [ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply

     [ ] You continued a long, stupid thread

     [ ] You started an off-topic thread

     [ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message

     [ ] You posted a blatently obvious troll

     [ ] You posted pretending to be someone famous (See "troll" above)

     [ ] You replied to the above message type believing it was someone
     famous

     [ ] You make no sense

     [ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme and claimed it was
     legal

     [ ] You posted in ElItE CaPiTaLs because you think that makes you cool

     [ ] You said "me too" to something

     [ ] You suck

     [ ] You brag about things that never happened

     [ ] Your sig/alias/server is dreadful

     [ ] You made up slang then used it in a message

     [ ] You posted a phone-sex ad

     [ ] You posted a business ad in a free-zone

     [ ] I don't like your tone of voice

     [ ] I think you might be a fed

     [ ] You posted a make money quick scam

     [ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally

     worthless that you are being flamed anyway

     To Repent, You Must:

     [ ] Be the PR guy for Canter & Siegel

     [ ] Give up your CompuServe account

     [ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it

     [ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor

     [ ] Actually post something relevant

     [ ] Read the FAQ

     [ ] Be Senator Exon's love slave

     [ ] Stop masturbating for a week

     [ ] Tell your Mommy to up your medication

     [ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month

     In Closing, I'd Like to Say:

     [ ] Blow me

     [ ] Get Wrecked

     [ ] Go tell your mother/father/test tube they failed

     [ ] Get a clue, you pathetic loser

     [ ] Get a life

     [ ] Never post again

     [ ] Age 10 more years before you post again

     [ ] I pity your dog

     [ ] Go to hell

     [ ] Yer momma's so fat/stupid/ugly that etc...

     [ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else

     [ ] Learn to post or get off of Usenet

     [ ] All of the above

     end flame