ALT.SF4M

  Barney Bludgeoned by Police!

   • j********o@***.com
     30/11/1997 00:00:000 UTC

     During last Thursday's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City,
     the

     giant balloon of Barney, the purple dinosaur, went out of control due to

     powerful winds: in response, policemen attacked with scissors and
     batons,

     deflating the billowing brute to the cheers of watching children. Civil
     rights

     leaders have decried the incident as another illustration of the violent
     bias

     that they claim the city police bear against "young males of color." A
     PBA

     spokesman defended the action saying "Barney ain't even human - he's a
     freak

     from another world, ya know, like that Michael Jackson." His statement
     has

     only inflamed the controversy further, prompting a strong rebuke from
     the

     Neptunian Consulate in Geneva.

     Gorno

       • f*******e@***.com
         30/11/1997 00:00:000 UTC

         In a related development, the People for the Ethical Treatment of
         Animals have

         lodged a formal complaint against the City of New York for the
         placement of

         street lights that have proved quite harmful to the lives of our
         city's feline

         population. When asked about their concern for the woman injured, a

         spokesperson for PETA said, "She shouldn't have been standing there
         gawking at

         the exploitation of animals in the first place."

         Jerry Katz