ICON 20 part 4 • j********o@***.com 08/04/2001 20:58:058 UTC I've been debating sharing this, since it's so personal and pathetic, but you have to live while you're alive, so here goes. But first, some levity! Top Five ways to make the supreme sacrifice for I-Con and earn a tasteful plaque on the little staircase they use for the ISC Stage, as well as an eternity in the Garden of Nerdly Delights, where you can *always* play spaceship... day, or night. 5) Squashed Like a Grape Under the Great Wall: SPLORT! 4) Choke on a Gristly Cube Steak Rather Than Disturb G.O.H. Speech at Awards Banquet 3) Take a Bullet for Nichelle Nichols' Mink Coat: "Is... the coat... O...K?..." 2) Fall into a Bin of Badges, Impaled by Pins: "Nearer... my God... to Thee... (gurgle) Bury me under... H. S... Ceeeee..." and of course, 1) Suicide Bomb Charles Pelligrino's Car at the Main Gate: "ICON AKBAR!!" BOOOOM! So, my little problem after the Con. I was exhausted, having slept maybe five hours in the preceding 72, had way overdone the tear-down, and hadn't eaten all day, while pumping myself full of caffeine, which I rarely imbibe at home, and having ridden an emotional roller coaster. Robbo just barely talked me out of going home (possibly saving my life and, more importantly, my pretty little Dodge Colt) and into going to the diner that stands where Tanglewood used to; Brian, Lincoln, JAM, etc. were there, we have dinner, and I literally bust a gut laughing. In all likeliness, it was a muscle spasm, although a week later I am still woozy and have a weird little numb spot on my left thumb. Anyway, I was doubled over in pain, in minutes turn white as a sheet, greatly worrying everyone at the table, and I start to pass out. Being a Jewish Mamma's boy, I have a tendency to hypochondria, so I've had some silly health scares, but I come from hardy stock, and Trolls ("rubbery and loathesome") regenerate quickly, so I haven't ever had a medical emergency. Ridiculous as it may sound, I felt so bad that I though I might be dying. And it was wonderful! I wasn't in the least afraid, although I did worry about not having a will and losing a bundle in probate. EMT Lincoln took my pulse, clocked down at 45 a minute (which I got the feeling isn't good), and both he and Robbo wanted to get me to a hospital, but I was having too much fun. Warning: beginning of wince-inducing schmaltz. I thought to myself, "How perfect!" 35 is a socially acceptable age to die, and no one can blame me for an aneurism. I got to say "Hello," and that will make a fine good-bye, and all is right with the world! I could have sunk without a fear down into the black void to join all the sparrows, and chipmunks, and bunnies, and kitty cats, and doggies, and dinosaurs, and the unnumbered generations of man. Let my Kaoi expand, slip free, and dissolve, forgetting all I knew and was -- let the Nous (which knows only curiousity), freed at last, fly back to the World-soul from whence it came, and let my giddy atoms bid their fellows farewell and await their next adventure! What an *honor* it would have been to have died there, laughing among my friends. I left Stony Brook because I was too ashamed to stay, but for that half hour sitting there doubled over in pain and amusement, I was not ashamed - I was *proud*. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and omnibenevolence. It was a sublime moment, a "singular moment of perfect joy." End of wince-inducing schmaltz. So, perhaps, if Time will let me, I'll drop by I-Con 30. Gorno is a dish best served rare(ly): the rarer the better! It was wonderful to see everyone, but it was selfish of me to attend. My absence is a gift, the only one I have that is worth giving. Gorno They say that every beard is a scar. They're right. • --None-- 10/04/2001 01:30:33 UTC > 5) Squashed Like a Grape Under the Great Wall: SPLORT! > 4) Choke on a Gristly Cube Steak Rather Than Disturb G.O.H. Speech at Awards > Banquet > 3) Take a Bullet for Nichelle Nichols' Mink Coat: "Is... the coat... > O...K?..." > 2) Fall into a Bin of Badges, Impaled by Pins: "Nearer... my God... to Thee... > (gurgle) Bury me under... H. S... Ceeeee..." > and of course, > 1) Suicide Bomb Charles Pelligrino's Car at the Main Gate: "ICON AKBAR!!" > BOOOOM! YYEEEEEHAAAAAHHHHH! > So, my little problem after the Con. I was exhausted, having slept maybe five > hours in the preceding 72, had way overdone the tear-down, and hadn't eaten all > day, while pumping myself full of caffeine, which I rarely imbibe at home, and > having ridden an emotional roller coaster. Robbo just barely talked me out of > going home (possibly saving my life and, more importantly, my pretty little > Dodge Colt) and into going to the diner that stands where Tanglewood used to; > Brian, Lincoln, JAM, etc. were there, we have dinner, and I literally bust a > gut laughing. In all likeliness, it was a muscle spasm, although a week later > I am still woozy and have a weird little numb spot on my left thumb. Anyway, I > was doubled over in pain, in minutes turn white as a sheet, greatly worrying > everyone at the table, and I start to pass out. Being a Jewish Mamma's boy, I > have a tendency to hypochondria, so I've had some silly health scares, but I > come from hardy stock, and Trolls ("rubbery and loathesome") regenerate > quickly, so I haven't ever had a medical emergency. Ridiculous as it may > sound, I felt so bad that I though I might be dying. And it was wonderful! I > wasn't in the least afraid, although I did worry about not having a will and > losing a bundle in probate. EMT Lincoln took my pulse, clocked down at 45 a > minute (which I got the feeling isn't good), and both he and Robbo wanted to > get me to a hospital, but I was having too much fun. It's all relative...you don't really know what sick is until you get REALLY sick. I thought food poisoning was awful until I *really* got food poisoning! I thought my kidneys were failing. > Warning: beginning of wince-inducing schmaltz. > I thought to myself, "How perfect!" 35 is a socially acceptable age to die, > and no one can blame me for an aneurism. I got to say "Hello," and that will > make a fine good-bye, and all is right with the world! I could have sunk > without a fear down into the black void to join all the sparrows, and > chipmunks, and bunnies, and kitty cats, and doggies, and dinosaurs, and the > unnumbered generations of man. Let my Kaoi expand, slip free, and dissolve, > forgetting all I knew and was -- let the Nous (which knows only curiousity), > freed at last, fly back to the World-soul from whence it came, and let my giddy > atoms bid their fellows farewell and await their next adventure! What an > *honor* it would have been to have died there, laughing among my friends. I > left Stony Brook because I was too ashamed to stay, but for that half hour > sitting there doubled over in pain and amusement, I was not ashamed - I was > *proud*. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and omnibenevolence. It was a > sublime moment, a "singular moment of perfect joy." > End of wince-inducing schmaltz. Ah, but it would have been the stuff of Forum legend: Forumite dies laughing in diner. > So, perhaps, if Time will let me, I'll drop by I-Con 30. Gorno is a dish best > served rare(ly): the rarer the better! It was wonderful to see everyone, but > it was selfish of me to attend. My absence is a gift, the only one I have that > is worth giving. Phhft! Make it I-Con 25 at least...lest absence make the heart grow fonder! --Doc • --None-- 10/04/2001 01:39:44 UTC Speaking of Futurama, at I-CON someone had these nifty metal Futurama signs. My favorites : "A Mindless Worker is a Happy Worker. Shut Up and Do Your Job" and a silhoutte of Futurama characters looking over a Bonestell lunar landscape: "It's not just an airless desert anymore!" Check 'em out: http://www.rocketusa.com/fsigns.html --Doc